there was a man I knew once
a true born-and-bred dunce
a fool with an air horn for a mouth
hailing from the Texas windy south.

He said his name with pride
entering with a bull-riders stride
as he listed his qualifying skills
his lies made to amaze and thrill
for he’d done it all, he had one too, and he’d seen it twice
though with his eyes, he couldn’t hit a wall with a bag of rice…
he was a cowboy, or so he said
he could do anything blindfolded and standing on his head
but the more I listened, the more he talked
his words meant to stun me to gawk
as though i could be amazed and wowed
as if he could amuse this crowd…
i jotted notes inside my head
and looked on with silent dread
“You’re hired,” said the smiling boss
who should’ve given him the frog-legged toss
right out the door back to the street
where all the liars prefer to meet.

But no such luck, so I stood and smiled
and he looked at me like something wild
“You let women work in this place?”
and he said this with the straightest face
and I replied, with a ladies smirk
“I, at least, know how to work.”
And he tipped his hat, and I rolled my eyes
there’s no appeal in a dummies lies
there’s just a truth left in its wake
for this guy, who I grew to hate
was certifiably insane
incapable of humility or shame
a cad and a fool, a retard at best
giving nothing, leaving less
a fool with an air horn for a mouth
a texas liar from the windy south.

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