The horror begins as I prepare Book 1 for editing. There is nothing more terrifying then sending your product to a total stranger, asking their criticism…
   I made the mistake of re-reading Book 1 this past weekend on my vacation and realized that I begin to emulate the voice of authors I’m reading at the time in the writing. For example, around Chapter 5 I was reading Tenessee Williams…and then, Chapter 6, I was reading Alexandre Dumas…oh god, the changes. I can even see traces of where I was re-reading Hamlet…
  I have never taken criticism well, I’m afraid, and it’s horrible to even admit that. I want to ask someone if it’s even worth doing…but I suppose that’s what each individual has to decide for themselves.
  Isn’t that what life is about, anyway? Doing something that we ourselves find value in? Whether its writing the book, climbing Everest, or learning how to make Moonshine… isn’t the meaning behind it all that feeling at the end of the journey when you say “yes, I did what I did” or stand there, horrified with your fate and all the memories that will never be left behind…
    Oh God.
    Thus my fear of criticism. It’s as though I’m always trying to prove myself to those around me, and though some would say “it makes no difference, don’t bother” I find it is merely my nature to do so.
    If the books aren’t successful, if that sacred world of mine that I’ve shared is spat upon and disdained, I think that such a result would be the end of me. Not necessarily to say I’d pull out my .38 special and do the ending myself, but more, my spirit might die and I’d subscribe myself to a life within the jaws of the family business, chewing up my brain till all that was left at age 80 was a pile of ground beef lying in front of a computer screen.
   Here’s to hoping that’s not my end.

One thought on “

  1. I know exactly what you mean by emulating an author’s style/voice while reading his/her writing!It’s tough to let your creation be vulnerable after pouring your heart into it and making it something you can be proud of, but it’s the price writers have to pay–the cruel process of criticism. Good luck with your book!

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